Tuesday, July 17, 2012
One month in Kathmandu
It’s hard to believe that I’ve been in Nepal for one month. As always, time passes much too quickly, at times, without truly taking much notice. So far, things have gone well. Learning the language even though it is quite challenging, familiarizing myself with Kathmandu, getting to know others and acclimating is what my life is about at present.
It all feels different then when I first landed in India in March 2009. At that time everything was entirely new. Having lived in this part of the world for three years, and visiting Kathmandu once before last September, I thought that things might be a bit easier, although moving half way around the world can be an unsettling experience.
In the second half of language class today, we practiced speaking to one another and I felt a sense of not knowing enough, that I really should know more. These feelings came from hearing an English guy, who has been living here for ten years speaking fluently, a meeting that I attended Wednesday and Thursday with my NGO which was entirely in Nepali, except for one power point and my own inner belief that I should know and understand more.
After class I decided to spend some more time studying, as somehow I feel that intensity would lead to doing things just so, although I am very familiar with what I was feeling, that “stomach empty hole, not doing enough” thing.
My thought was to get out of the Guest House and walk. I meandered down a path near the Guest House and came upon people filling their jugs with water at a decorative cement pipe, something I’ve seen throughout the City. Clean drinking water is a somewhat scarce commodity in Kathmandu. As I watched, one child started to poke me and some other children started talking. Although they wanted to practice their English, I wanted to practice my Nepali and so it went. The children were lovely, one living with 17 other family members, another with 11. They wanted me to try to the water, wondered if I was married and couldn’t understand how I could have children but no wife, asked where I was from, etc.
As usual, I put myself in a situation where I could deal with my “stomach” feeling. The children made me smile and gave me some sense of connection. I waved good-bye and continued my journey and decided to go to see some people whom I had met in September.
Emily, a former VSO Nepal volunteer, had taken me on some walks when I visited in September, 2011. At that time she had introduced me to a mother and her adult son. The mother lived not too far from the Guest House in a shack where she sold drinks, cookies, etc. The mother did not speak a word of English and the son was a sometime trekker who led people during the high season, which was not too frequently. Since being in Nepal I had passed them many times, with the mother always waving me over to sit, but up to now, I hadn’t taken the time.
However, today I decided to try to make a connection, speak some more Nepali, in an effort to become a part of Nepal. I spent maybe 15 minutes, bought some water and just sat. On some level I just want to connect, to develop relationships with people so that my stay in Nepal would eventually feel like home. It’s not that I haven’t done this, as I’ve reached out to the basketball community and talk to whomever I see. But like my Nepali class, there is a feeling that I’m missing something.
On some level I lead a very contradictory life, knowing that I need to have strong deep connections, that people give me energy, but consciously choosing to live a rather transitory kind of life in an overseas environment. My experience in India led me to believe that I could, however, have good connections while living overseas. Maintaining relationships with friends, in the US, however, wasn’t always easy as not seeing people for a number of years can prove to be disadvantageous.
I feel that I’m in that in-between kind of space, where I want to get settled and start work, meeting people, living a somewhat “normal” life. Wim, my new roommate and I will move into our space next week, a very nice flat with a beautiful view and a wonderful kitchen. This will certainly help. Work will begin on July 23 and this is also positive. My overall fear though is not knowing the language enough to make those strong connections with Nepalis.
Of course people speak English, but I told myself when I left India, that if I was fortunate enough to live in another country I would learn the language. Am I too hard on myself, is it realistic to speak somewhat fluently in one year, can I continue to study on a daily basis? Of course the answer is a resounding “yes”, on all accounts. Will I be able to read the language, conduct my work in Nepali, fully understand the nuances? Of course the answer is “no”.
It comes down to allowing myself to settle in, to not put a time pressure on myself, to try and try and try without becoming overly frustrated. The language will come, along with the connections and friends. My “Americaness and Michaelness” continues to come out, that pushing forward before really settling in. It is however, a matter of time before the Nepalness becomes part of me, when like India, I will be able to call this beautiful country, my home.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
President Bush (from 2007)
Today was another unique day. But, first a story. A few years ago I was on a plane with Tex Winter, a former coach for the Lakers (and you know how much I love the Lakers). I wanted to talk with him and thought that once the plane made a stop I would go sit next to him. Well, of course, Tex left and I never had the opportunity to speak with him. As a huge b-ball fan I vowed to never let any kind of opportunity like this slip away from me again.
Last week it was indicated in the local newspaper that President Bush would be visiting Lancaster. Members of the Chamber of Commerce could pick up a ticket by waiting in line at the Chamber offices this past Monday. Tickets would be given out starting at 10 AM. I thought why not, I may not agree with the man but this is an opportunity to really see someone who is in the public light. I made it to the Chamber about 9:30 AM last Monday and there were already a room full of people, some having arrived as early as 5 AM! I was given the number 60 and waited about two hours to be three tickets away from obtaining one to see the President. I saw a young man in his late 20’s who had gotten some tickets interviewed by the local media who had received a couple of tickets. This young man talked about how much he loved the President, supported the war and then he did a little parody of the President. I thought how can someone so young be so conservative? I put my name on the Chamber waiting list and yesterday received a call from the Chamber saying that I could get a ticket! Last night there was a demonstration in the square outside of Market which I wanted to experience. I stayed in the background but saw many signs along with lots of chanting. I agreed with many of the signs but as I left I said to someone, “OK, so now how do we make changes?”
This morning I made it to the site where the President would speak, about 7 miles outside of Lancaster, around 9:45 AM. Driving on the road to the site, one could tell that the President was on the way, lots of police and ambulances, etc. I waited in line for about 45 minutes and made it into the site which was set up in a town hall meeting style, the President would be in the middle with about 400 people sitting in bleachers around him. The national media of course covered the event. We started out with the star spangled banner and then the President of the Chamber was introduced and then the President walked in. Whether you agree with the President or not it was quite an electric feeling to have George Bush about 10 feet away from you.
The President gave about 30 minutes of prepared remarks including addressing some of the Amish whose families were involved in the horrible Nickel Mines shooting and then opened it up to questions. The first question was about the Iraq war. The President was very adamant about needing to stay until we were successful. He really spent a lot of time answering the question. Next it was my turn to ask two questions. I said, “Thank you for coming here and for being open to answer questions. I also told him that I wanted to gain a better understanding of him, which he thanked me for. I asked him to talk about the Farm Bill and how it helped Lancaster County farmers and also asked him to talk about how we were being leaders in combating global warming.” (Apparently I was also on the local news asking my Farm bill question). The President spent a little bit of time on the Farm Bill but went into quite an explanation about global warming. He looked at me quite a bit as he was answering my questions. There were some very tough questions for the President and he answered all of them to the best of his ability. He seemed sincere and personable and is of course a real ideologue. Someone asked him if his daughters should go into business or politics and he said that they should do whatever they want to do. He talked a bit about HIV/AIDS in Africa and said that he felt that we should help to relieve the suffering overseas and that we should help people in other countries to become free. He also stated that he didn’t like the fact that politics in Washington were so personal and that we should show respect for one another. He again did seem sincere. He talked a lot about not raising taxes and I kept thinking about how we were paying for the war besides cutting lots of programs?
As the President left around 1 PM, I handed him my latest US News and World Report with a cover picture of Hillary for him to sign, he asked me where I farmed and I stated that I ran a market with lots of farmers. The President did sign the picture of Hillary and laughed. (During the 72-73 b-ball season the NY Knicks defeated the Lakers in the finals. Keith Erickson of the Lakers was at a local drug store to sign autographs after the defeat. My friend Bernard and I went to obtain an autograph. Bernard, who always had a good sense of humor, and is now living in Paris, brought the cover of Sports Illustrated with Willis Reed of the Knicks for Keith to sign. Keith just laughed and signed it and I thought of this as I handed the picture of Hillary to President Bush).
All in all to be able to ask the President of the US a question and get an answer, regardless of whether I agree or not, is remarkable to me. It is very difficult for me to find much right with the policies of the Bush Administration, he had just come from vetoing a bill for poor children’s health, but I do have to say that I have an appreciation for the person George Bush and the tremendous pressure that he is under as President.
The lesson for me is to take advantage of whatever opportunities life presents. Why not?
Last week it was indicated in the local newspaper that President Bush would be visiting Lancaster. Members of the Chamber of Commerce could pick up a ticket by waiting in line at the Chamber offices this past Monday. Tickets would be given out starting at 10 AM. I thought why not, I may not agree with the man but this is an opportunity to really see someone who is in the public light. I made it to the Chamber about 9:30 AM last Monday and there were already a room full of people, some having arrived as early as 5 AM! I was given the number 60 and waited about two hours to be three tickets away from obtaining one to see the President. I saw a young man in his late 20’s who had gotten some tickets interviewed by the local media who had received a couple of tickets. This young man talked about how much he loved the President, supported the war and then he did a little parody of the President. I thought how can someone so young be so conservative? I put my name on the Chamber waiting list and yesterday received a call from the Chamber saying that I could get a ticket! Last night there was a demonstration in the square outside of Market which I wanted to experience. I stayed in the background but saw many signs along with lots of chanting. I agreed with many of the signs but as I left I said to someone, “OK, so now how do we make changes?”
This morning I made it to the site where the President would speak, about 7 miles outside of Lancaster, around 9:45 AM. Driving on the road to the site, one could tell that the President was on the way, lots of police and ambulances, etc. I waited in line for about 45 minutes and made it into the site which was set up in a town hall meeting style, the President would be in the middle with about 400 people sitting in bleachers around him. The national media of course covered the event. We started out with the star spangled banner and then the President of the Chamber was introduced and then the President walked in. Whether you agree with the President or not it was quite an electric feeling to have George Bush about 10 feet away from you.
The President gave about 30 minutes of prepared remarks including addressing some of the Amish whose families were involved in the horrible Nickel Mines shooting and then opened it up to questions. The first question was about the Iraq war. The President was very adamant about needing to stay until we were successful. He really spent a lot of time answering the question. Next it was my turn to ask two questions. I said, “Thank you for coming here and for being open to answer questions. I also told him that I wanted to gain a better understanding of him, which he thanked me for. I asked him to talk about the Farm Bill and how it helped Lancaster County farmers and also asked him to talk about how we were being leaders in combating global warming.” (Apparently I was also on the local news asking my Farm bill question). The President spent a little bit of time on the Farm Bill but went into quite an explanation about global warming. He looked at me quite a bit as he was answering my questions. There were some very tough questions for the President and he answered all of them to the best of his ability. He seemed sincere and personable and is of course a real ideologue. Someone asked him if his daughters should go into business or politics and he said that they should do whatever they want to do. He talked a bit about HIV/AIDS in Africa and said that he felt that we should help to relieve the suffering overseas and that we should help people in other countries to become free. He also stated that he didn’t like the fact that politics in Washington were so personal and that we should show respect for one another. He again did seem sincere. He talked a lot about not raising taxes and I kept thinking about how we were paying for the war besides cutting lots of programs?
As the President left around 1 PM, I handed him my latest US News and World Report with a cover picture of Hillary for him to sign, he asked me where I farmed and I stated that I ran a market with lots of farmers. The President did sign the picture of Hillary and laughed. (During the 72-73 b-ball season the NY Knicks defeated the Lakers in the finals. Keith Erickson of the Lakers was at a local drug store to sign autographs after the defeat. My friend Bernard and I went to obtain an autograph. Bernard, who always had a good sense of humor, and is now living in Paris, brought the cover of Sports Illustrated with Willis Reed of the Knicks for Keith to sign. Keith just laughed and signed it and I thought of this as I handed the picture of Hillary to President Bush).
All in all to be able to ask the President of the US a question and get an answer, regardless of whether I agree or not, is remarkable to me. It is very difficult for me to find much right with the policies of the Bush Administration, he had just come from vetoing a bill for poor children’s health, but I do have to say that I have an appreciation for the person George Bush and the tremendous pressure that he is under as President.
The lesson for me is to take advantage of whatever opportunities life presents. Why not?
The Amish Church (from 2007)
As I drove down Route 340 about 8:30 AM on Sunday, September 16th, 2007 the road was alive with Amish in buggies, Amish walking with their families, and Amish parents pulling their children in wagons all on their way to their own church. The church that I attended was at the home of one of the Market standholders in Gordonville, next to Paradise. I decided to try to look as “Amish” as possible, so I put on black and white clothes and wore my Amish hat. I was greeted by my hosts and then I was shown the barn where the Amish men and boys were waiting for the service to start. The Amish males were all standing in a line shoulder to shoulder and as someone new came in one would go down the line and shake everyone’s hand. (A few of the men actually kissed each other on the lips). As new buggies came in the horses were also put in the barn to be watered. At about 9, one of the Amish elders asked me to follow him into a building which is typically used as a workshop. There were maybe 15 benches in the room with about 8 on one side for the women and 7 on the other side for the men facing towards the women. In the center were 10 chairs facing each other for the elders. I was placed in the center with the elders. When I entered the room with the Amish elders all of the women were in the room, lots of children, along with the Amish men. We still had our hats on until the Amish male teens entered the room and then we removed our hats. The service lasted about three hours, I believe in German. I understood the following words-“Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and Go in the grace of God”. That was it! I didn’t fall asleep although it seemed that many of the men were dozing throughout the service. I think that there were three sermons and some chanting. At times we got on our knees and placed our head on the chairs. I could tell that many of the Amish children were looking at me, this “English” person. They did seem rather curious.
Once the service ended I was instructed to stay in the room as the long benches were transformed into two long tables, one again for the men and one for the women. In between this transformation I went outside to play some basketball with the children. I also asked used to use the bathroom in the house, but was turned down as the women were using the house as their area. I was instructed to go out into the fields. I sat with the elders to a feast of freshly made bread, fresh p-nut butter, cup cheese, some type of apple pie, water, coffee. It was just delightful to be so welcomed into this community so unlike anything that I had been aware of. After lunch the volleyball court was being prepared, but I had to leave for another function, so I was unable to play.
I’m not sure that my description captured my experience , but it really was just incredible! There definitely was curiosity about me, especially what I thought of the service. When I responded that although I didn’t really understand the service, but thoroughly enjoyed myself, there was a definite connection. I hope to be invited to another service so that I can stay to play volleyball!
Once the service ended I was instructed to stay in the room as the long benches were transformed into two long tables, one again for the men and one for the women. In between this transformation I went outside to play some basketball with the children. I also asked used to use the bathroom in the house, but was turned down as the women were using the house as their area. I was instructed to go out into the fields. I sat with the elders to a feast of freshly made bread, fresh p-nut butter, cup cheese, some type of apple pie, water, coffee. It was just delightful to be so welcomed into this community so unlike anything that I had been aware of. After lunch the volleyball court was being prepared, but I had to leave for another function, so I was unable to play.
I’m not sure that my description captured my experience , but it really was just incredible! There definitely was curiosity about me, especially what I thought of the service. When I responded that although I didn’t really understand the service, but thoroughly enjoyed myself, there was a definite connection. I hope to be invited to another service so that I can stay to play volleyball!
India Dreaming
I was supposed to start working in India yesterday, on April 2, 2012. Instead I’m still in California “visiting” my parents, trying to take some action on what I’ll do next in my life. I was supposed to be still living with the Tyagi family in my second floor flat with all of my “stuff” adorning the walls. Instead I spoke to the family on Skype this morning talking about how they’ve put all of my “stuff” into boxes in the spare bedroom until I’m ready to have it shipped. Fortunately for all another VSO volunteer will be living in the flat. I was supposed to be in New Delhi with all of its people, cows, dogs, traffic, pollution and garbage, where I’m so very happy, truly being me. Instead I’m in an area with blue sky, lots of walking trails, no garbage, hardly any people, a swimming pool, where I’m not overly happy, (yet that is). My heart and mind are still in India, where my selfish self wants to be.
I ran out of time in trying to renew my visa in India. In retrospect I should have just stayed until I had a decision one way or the other. I thought that there would be no issues in obtaining a fresh visa in the US. But after being rejected, and as I came to find out, I seem to be in the middle of some politics i as the US has been rejecting Indian professional visas at a very high rate. In the IndiaMIke forum I read about a young woman in a similar situation: “But what frustrates me the most is that there is a job of my dreams at the organization where I did my internship with a lot of pleasure and most importantly in the country where I want to live…”
As the month of March has gone by and I try to obtain assistance from my Indian friends, to see if they know of someone in the Indian Embassy, and my father pushes me to send e-mails to various US legislators, I realize how central India has become in my life. New Delhi has become my home. I so much appreciated the everyday contact that I had with my host family. Although my Hindi is fairly non-existent, I had relationships with all of the shop keepers, a smile and wave every morning on my way to the bus stop, a “Namaste” from the people living on the sidewalk, a greeting to any child that I passed on my way home in the evening, a “conhei?” or “who is it?” in Hindi when I rang the bell to be let into my home.
Three years in a country, building relationships, thinking that one could stay here for some time and be happy, contributing to another way of life stopped by the stroke of a pen. Intellectually I can understand this, countries have to promote that they are protecting their citizens. Although in the longer term, as I’ve come to realize from living in India, understanding how others work and incorporating this knowledge into how we work, benefits all. Emotionally, I’m somewhat of a mess as I tell myself that, “everything will be ok”. Internally my rumblings are great, as my body attempts to adjust to the lifestyle I once knew. My good friends and family have been very supportive, but now my contacts, my professional network is in India and in this moment I can’t go back.
So, what to do? I try to be hopeful, tell myself that there might be some way to talk to someone and make the case that this particular foreigner, out of all of those that have been rejected, should be given a visa, that I’m not taking any work away from citizens of India and actually creating some, that I really can help to make a difference for Indian society. On the other hand, I know that I need to start building some infrastructure for myself in the US, that I can’t be unemployed for a long period of time as I already know something about this from my part-time working life during 2008. I also know that living and working overseas is something that I just don’t want to give up.
It isn’t easy, but I know that. All of us go through “stuff” and it comes down to how we deal with the spouse that is sick, not having the money to do what we want, staying in a job because it is secure, growing old and not being able to do what you used to.
I’ll go on because it is the only way. I won’t give up and will get back to India if it is at all possible. Maybe it won’t be in the capacity that “I want”, but in another. I certainly won’t give up my dream of living in other countries once again. But for now if I must stay in the US, I’ll do what I can to make it “home”.
I ran out of time in trying to renew my visa in India. In retrospect I should have just stayed until I had a decision one way or the other. I thought that there would be no issues in obtaining a fresh visa in the US. But after being rejected, and as I came to find out, I seem to be in the middle of some politics i as the US has been rejecting Indian professional visas at a very high rate. In the IndiaMIke forum I read about a young woman in a similar situation: “But what frustrates me the most is that there is a job of my dreams at the organization where I did my internship with a lot of pleasure and most importantly in the country where I want to live…”
As the month of March has gone by and I try to obtain assistance from my Indian friends, to see if they know of someone in the Indian Embassy, and my father pushes me to send e-mails to various US legislators, I realize how central India has become in my life. New Delhi has become my home. I so much appreciated the everyday contact that I had with my host family. Although my Hindi is fairly non-existent, I had relationships with all of the shop keepers, a smile and wave every morning on my way to the bus stop, a “Namaste” from the people living on the sidewalk, a greeting to any child that I passed on my way home in the evening, a “conhei?” or “who is it?” in Hindi when I rang the bell to be let into my home.
Three years in a country, building relationships, thinking that one could stay here for some time and be happy, contributing to another way of life stopped by the stroke of a pen. Intellectually I can understand this, countries have to promote that they are protecting their citizens. Although in the longer term, as I’ve come to realize from living in India, understanding how others work and incorporating this knowledge into how we work, benefits all. Emotionally, I’m somewhat of a mess as I tell myself that, “everything will be ok”. Internally my rumblings are great, as my body attempts to adjust to the lifestyle I once knew. My good friends and family have been very supportive, but now my contacts, my professional network is in India and in this moment I can’t go back.
So, what to do? I try to be hopeful, tell myself that there might be some way to talk to someone and make the case that this particular foreigner, out of all of those that have been rejected, should be given a visa, that I’m not taking any work away from citizens of India and actually creating some, that I really can help to make a difference for Indian society. On the other hand, I know that I need to start building some infrastructure for myself in the US, that I can’t be unemployed for a long period of time as I already know something about this from my part-time working life during 2008. I also know that living and working overseas is something that I just don’t want to give up.
It isn’t easy, but I know that. All of us go through “stuff” and it comes down to how we deal with the spouse that is sick, not having the money to do what we want, staying in a job because it is secure, growing old and not being able to do what you used to.
I’ll go on because it is the only way. I won’t give up and will get back to India if it is at all possible. Maybe it won’t be in the capacity that “I want”, but in another. I certainly won’t give up my dream of living in other countries once again. But for now if I must stay in the US, I’ll do what I can to make it “home”.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Three years of Voluntary Service Overseas
My three years of Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO) ended this past week. I’m a different person than I was when I became a volunteer in India in March 2009. India and all that it is has invaded and infused body; which was once was as an All American. I understand a little bit more about the world and another culture. I realize how similar we are and that the things that we want are very similar. I might have known this from living my entire life in the United States, but I know now how important it has been for me to leave my native place and live somewhere else, which even after three years, no matter how comfortable I have become, still remains foreign.
I was in the West as soon as I made it to the IGI airport in New Delhi moving on to my layover in Hong Kong on Thursday. Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency, no garbage, many people interested in helping to get me to the right place. After an efficient dim sum lunch with a friend in the downtown area, I made it back in 24 minutes to the airport on the connecting train. (I even met two people at the airport, a bit older than me, who went to the same high school). Arriving in Los Angeles was more of the same, the sky was fairly blue, the weather temperate, people stopping for me when I crossed the streets, in fact, I had the right-of-way, what an utterly strange concept.
My daughter picked me up and the traffic flow was fairly straight forward with other vehicles giving the right-of-way. We went to Sarah and Ricardo’s apartment which is nice, clean and efficient, not too much traffic on the street. Ricardo and I went for a walk and as I remembered, every corner was filled with a mini-mall, the usual Mexican and Thai restaurants, a bakery, the drug and grocery stores, traffic moving together and not a cow or a piece of garbage in site.
It really isn’t too strange being in the US, but I am hoping to live for a longer time in India and generally abroad. I look out the windows of the apartment, nobody on the wide, tree lined, well lit street, no noise, except for some cars. But, this also seems a bit foreign to me.
Sarah and I went for a short hike today, up a few hills, again no garbage and even cans lining the way. Most people were speaking English, but there were some speaking foreign tongues; everyone enjoying their privilege of living and/or visiting the US.
There was also last night when Ricardo, Sarah and I went for a walk to the Pie Shop, (oh my, the choices!) and we passed a number of people on the streets in their sleeping bags; there was even a tent. It did however look different from what I’ve come to identify living on the streets in India with.
As I’ve been in the US for about 34 hours of which half wre spent in a well deserved sleep, I’ve read about the volunteer “Re-entry styles”:
“1.1 Re-entry Styles
If you accept that re-entry is a period of transition that is accompanied by stress, there is
typically one of three approaches driving your transition. Your re-entry style will dictate the level
of ease with which you will move through the re-entry transition period. Your style or approach
to re-entry will also determine your stress level.
i) Alienation
Negative feelings about North America and North American culture
Rejects the North American lifestyle; unable to adapt, feels stuck
May try to escape by taking further contracts overseas
Stress Level: High
ii) Reversion
Reverts to prior North American lifestyle without dealing with personal changes (particularly attitudinal or value-based changes) that occurred abroad
Stress Level: Initially low, but with potential to increase
iii) Integration
Uses the stress of re-entry to learn more about self
Integrates the changes that have occurred abroad to develop a new identity and lifestyle in accordance with changed self
Stress Level: Moderate”
I chatted on Facebook today with a VSO India friend who has been in the US since December, and she related that both her and her husband have jobs and are even house hunting. They must be iii) Integration.
Since I have two contracts in India and am working on a new visa, I immediately went to i) Alienation, especially “may try to escape by taking further contracts overseas”. I thought about how I might be “trying to escape”, but in reality have found a place, although it is so very challenging in everything from the weather to the lifestyle to the lack of language on my part, where I’m internally happy.
I wonder though where there is space for realizing that possibly some and/or many of the returned volunteers may want to work overseas. At least I know of a fair amount, in which, India just wasn’t enough and the volunteers needed/wanted more.
I probably shouldn’t take the re-entry styles so literally, but a shift has occurred in my life, in which the world, on some level, seems to be available. The major deterrent is only the possibility of not obtaining a new visa.
The fact remains that the US is not the place that it was three years ago and although I haven’t fully explored the opportunities here, it appears that overseas is where my skill set is needed the most, where my network remains just waiting to gobble me up.
The volunteer overseas experience is partially about the impact that we make, but is more about the friendships that we’ve made, the perceptions that we’ve changed and the smiles that we give to others and others to us as the only form of communication. It is about others saying to me with complete sincerity, “you are coming back, right?” The overseas experience is about not taking things for granted, about immersing oneself in another culture, feeling frustrations and overcoming these and not giving up one’s native place, but being flexible enough to fit in.
I will go back; it is just a matter of time. Between now and then I will enjoy my native place, my dear friends and family, but will also keep my focus on where my heart says is the right place for me at this point in my life. VSO-Very Supreme Opportunities (to live an extraordinary life!)
I was in the West as soon as I made it to the IGI airport in New Delhi moving on to my layover in Hong Kong on Thursday. Efficiency, efficiency, efficiency, no garbage, many people interested in helping to get me to the right place. After an efficient dim sum lunch with a friend in the downtown area, I made it back in 24 minutes to the airport on the connecting train. (I even met two people at the airport, a bit older than me, who went to the same high school). Arriving in Los Angeles was more of the same, the sky was fairly blue, the weather temperate, people stopping for me when I crossed the streets, in fact, I had the right-of-way, what an utterly strange concept.
My daughter picked me up and the traffic flow was fairly straight forward with other vehicles giving the right-of-way. We went to Sarah and Ricardo’s apartment which is nice, clean and efficient, not too much traffic on the street. Ricardo and I went for a walk and as I remembered, every corner was filled with a mini-mall, the usual Mexican and Thai restaurants, a bakery, the drug and grocery stores, traffic moving together and not a cow or a piece of garbage in site.
It really isn’t too strange being in the US, but I am hoping to live for a longer time in India and generally abroad. I look out the windows of the apartment, nobody on the wide, tree lined, well lit street, no noise, except for some cars. But, this also seems a bit foreign to me.
Sarah and I went for a short hike today, up a few hills, again no garbage and even cans lining the way. Most people were speaking English, but there were some speaking foreign tongues; everyone enjoying their privilege of living and/or visiting the US.
There was also last night when Ricardo, Sarah and I went for a walk to the Pie Shop, (oh my, the choices!) and we passed a number of people on the streets in their sleeping bags; there was even a tent. It did however look different from what I’ve come to identify living on the streets in India with.
As I’ve been in the US for about 34 hours of which half wre spent in a well deserved sleep, I’ve read about the volunteer “Re-entry styles”:
“1.1 Re-entry Styles
If you accept that re-entry is a period of transition that is accompanied by stress, there is
typically one of three approaches driving your transition. Your re-entry style will dictate the level
of ease with which you will move through the re-entry transition period. Your style or approach
to re-entry will also determine your stress level.
i) Alienation
Negative feelings about North America and North American culture
Rejects the North American lifestyle; unable to adapt, feels stuck
May try to escape by taking further contracts overseas
Stress Level: High
ii) Reversion
Reverts to prior North American lifestyle without dealing with personal changes (particularly attitudinal or value-based changes) that occurred abroad
Stress Level: Initially low, but with potential to increase
iii) Integration
Uses the stress of re-entry to learn more about self
Integrates the changes that have occurred abroad to develop a new identity and lifestyle in accordance with changed self
Stress Level: Moderate”
I chatted on Facebook today with a VSO India friend who has been in the US since December, and she related that both her and her husband have jobs and are even house hunting. They must be iii) Integration.
Since I have two contracts in India and am working on a new visa, I immediately went to i) Alienation, especially “may try to escape by taking further contracts overseas”. I thought about how I might be “trying to escape”, but in reality have found a place, although it is so very challenging in everything from the weather to the lifestyle to the lack of language on my part, where I’m internally happy.
I wonder though where there is space for realizing that possibly some and/or many of the returned volunteers may want to work overseas. At least I know of a fair amount, in which, India just wasn’t enough and the volunteers needed/wanted more.
I probably shouldn’t take the re-entry styles so literally, but a shift has occurred in my life, in which the world, on some level, seems to be available. The major deterrent is only the possibility of not obtaining a new visa.
The fact remains that the US is not the place that it was three years ago and although I haven’t fully explored the opportunities here, it appears that overseas is where my skill set is needed the most, where my network remains just waiting to gobble me up.
The volunteer overseas experience is partially about the impact that we make, but is more about the friendships that we’ve made, the perceptions that we’ve changed and the smiles that we give to others and others to us as the only form of communication. It is about others saying to me with complete sincerity, “you are coming back, right?” The overseas experience is about not taking things for granted, about immersing oneself in another culture, feeling frustrations and overcoming these and not giving up one’s native place, but being flexible enough to fit in.
I will go back; it is just a matter of time. Between now and then I will enjoy my native place, my dear friends and family, but will also keep my focus on where my heart says is the right place for me at this point in my life. VSO-Very Supreme Opportunities (to live an extraordinary life!)
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Downbound train
December 11-12, 2011
Down bound Train
I’ve just woken up again on a train, listening to Bruce Springsteen sing, “Down bound Train”. My laptop is so dusty from years of living in India. Maybe it could be cleaned, maybe the dust is there for the life of the laptop, something to take with me wherever I am in the world. A little piece of India encrusted on my laptop, reminding me how this country is now so much a part of my internal life that I’m not sure how I will ever leave.
Yesterday morning at 6:30 I was supposed to be on the Puri Express to Bhubaneswar. Instead when I arrived at the New Delhi station around 5:30 AM I was told that the train would be delayed. I was driven to a government ticket office, in Connaught Place and was told that there were no other trains and that all flights were booked.
The metro took me home where I logged onto the Indian Railways website which told me that the train would be delayed for seven hours and 20 minutes. This would mean leaving around 2 PM. At 11 AM the same website indicated that the delay would be 14 hours and 20 minutes. This would mean that I would now leave around 9 PM. Was this still the same train?
Coaching basketball was now on my agenda, as I could leave directly from the YMCA at Patel Chowk and take the metro to New Delhi Station. I hadn’t been at the Y for some time due to Incredible India enabling me to continue to lead an extraordinary life. It was so wonderful to see the children and to find a few new guys that I could coach and bring my love of the game to their psyches. What I found though is that all of the children were so into the game and it was the usual inspiration that leaves me loving basketball even more.
I left the Y around 7:35 PM and made my way to the metro, walking and talking with one of the new children, Sam, who has been playing and has a good understanding for the game. I arrived at New Delhi station around 8 PM, looked at the “big board” but didn’t see the Puri Express. Fighting to get the enquiry window I was told that the train would leave at 8:50 PM from track 12.
8:50 PM came and went and finally around 9:10 the train pulled in. At 9:45 PM the train departed from New Delhi station, which leaves me with more than an entire day waiting to get to my final destination. I should have been in at 10:30 AM on Sunday, but now hope to get in by 2 AM on Monday.
Just spent my second night on the train and we hope to get in around 3 PM. Day one of the workshop is cancelled. We spent a lot of time sitting in one spot last night, I’m told because it was too dangerous to travel due to Naxelites. The train isn’t as gross as it could be, it seems to be getting cleaned regularly. There is and has to be a direct correlation between number of hours on the train and cleanliness. I, in my American way, need a shower badly, as well as some food. I tend not to eat on trains just because.
We are presently in W. Bengal and moving at a pretty good clip. We seem to be passing agricultural fields and it is beautiful with an early morning mist, just hovering. It’s pretty brown this time of year, but one can still see the remnants of harvested crops. Wait check all of that, we are stopped yet again! I finally arrived at 5 PM after spending 44 hours on the train!
Down bound Train
I’ve just woken up again on a train, listening to Bruce Springsteen sing, “Down bound Train”. My laptop is so dusty from years of living in India. Maybe it could be cleaned, maybe the dust is there for the life of the laptop, something to take with me wherever I am in the world. A little piece of India encrusted on my laptop, reminding me how this country is now so much a part of my internal life that I’m not sure how I will ever leave.
Yesterday morning at 6:30 I was supposed to be on the Puri Express to Bhubaneswar. Instead when I arrived at the New Delhi station around 5:30 AM I was told that the train would be delayed. I was driven to a government ticket office, in Connaught Place and was told that there were no other trains and that all flights were booked.
The metro took me home where I logged onto the Indian Railways website which told me that the train would be delayed for seven hours and 20 minutes. This would mean leaving around 2 PM. At 11 AM the same website indicated that the delay would be 14 hours and 20 minutes. This would mean that I would now leave around 9 PM. Was this still the same train?
Coaching basketball was now on my agenda, as I could leave directly from the YMCA at Patel Chowk and take the metro to New Delhi Station. I hadn’t been at the Y for some time due to Incredible India enabling me to continue to lead an extraordinary life. It was so wonderful to see the children and to find a few new guys that I could coach and bring my love of the game to their psyches. What I found though is that all of the children were so into the game and it was the usual inspiration that leaves me loving basketball even more.
I left the Y around 7:35 PM and made my way to the metro, walking and talking with one of the new children, Sam, who has been playing and has a good understanding for the game. I arrived at New Delhi station around 8 PM, looked at the “big board” but didn’t see the Puri Express. Fighting to get the enquiry window I was told that the train would leave at 8:50 PM from track 12.
8:50 PM came and went and finally around 9:10 the train pulled in. At 9:45 PM the train departed from New Delhi station, which leaves me with more than an entire day waiting to get to my final destination. I should have been in at 10:30 AM on Sunday, but now hope to get in by 2 AM on Monday.
Just spent my second night on the train and we hope to get in around 3 PM. Day one of the workshop is cancelled. We spent a lot of time sitting in one spot last night, I’m told because it was too dangerous to travel due to Naxelites. The train isn’t as gross as it could be, it seems to be getting cleaned regularly. There is and has to be a direct correlation between number of hours on the train and cleanliness. I, in my American way, need a shower badly, as well as some food. I tend not to eat on trains just because.
We are presently in W. Bengal and moving at a pretty good clip. We seem to be passing agricultural fields and it is beautiful with an early morning mist, just hovering. It’s pretty brown this time of year, but one can still see the remnants of harvested crops. Wait check all of that, we are stopped yet again! I finally arrived at 5 PM after spending 44 hours on the train!
November 2011, Part 5, Robyn and Michael, BK Flag in
Robyn and Michael/Badthe Kadam Flag In
Back to Delhi on Tuesday for me, with Robyn and Michael coming in on Wednesday and the Badhte Kadam flag in on Friday. R&M had been in India since November 4 and on November 5 left for Ranchi, Lucknow and the mountains. They are in India to do some filming for YSS and to write some more music and get ready for their European tour. They are very busy, Michael doing a lot of editing for a variety of projects, with the main one being for my beloved friends and cousins Mark and Andrew.
I was happy that R&M were coming to Delhi to spend a bit of time before going off to do the rest of their India trip. Given our places in the world we haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together as adults and of course, the most likely place for us to be together would be India, which is a second home to R&M. I had the added surprise of Robyn cooking every night and both of them doing a really nice, thorough cleaning of my flat. It was also an opportunity for my Indian family, especially Anjilee and Bulbul, to continue to interact with Americans. ( I had gotten Aamir Khan to give an autograph to, as he wrote, Bobo. My American Hindi!)
Friday December 2 was the big day for the Badhte Kadam flag in at Delhi University. Thanks to AADI providing coordination, this year we did things a bit differently. It was smart on NT’s part to work with AADI rather than doing the same old thing, which I felt hadn’t been too successful last year. AADI is a very professionally run NGO and they implemented a huge list of very creative items during BK. We also counted on them to organize both the flag out and flag in.
The flag in was at Delhi University North and was a beautiful area with a large lawn, enabling students walking by to see what we were doing. D. Napoleon our Minister of State was supposed to come as well as Sheila Dixits the Chief Minister of Delhi. Unfortunately Napoleon was called away to parliament while Dixits did spend 15 or so minutes with us. The children highlighted in the flag in did lots of dancing and through their costumes showcased the diversity that makes India, incredible. The hearing impaired children again performed the sign national anthem and as they started I had tears in my eyes for my adopted homeland. There was also Baul, or folk singing, from West Bengal which was just beautiful. The Baul singers had also performed in Connaught Place during the week and I was able to follow them around. Doordarshan and CNN-IBN covered the event.
Previously, during the week, my pal Aditya had called and said that CNN-IBN wanted to do a follow-up, that Saturday, December 3-World Disability Day, to the wheelchair basketball. This time they were going to be doing a lot of filming. With the cooperation of Uma and Seema Thuli of Amar Jyoti, and the wheelchair basketball and able bodied children, we put together an event from 9:30-1 PM. It was fantastic and turned out to be part of the CNN-IBN citizen’s journalist show. A full 20 minutes with all Amar Jyoti children featured throughout. (I was able to be a citizen’s journalist and also introduced another story in my introduction!)
Earlier in the week I had also noticed that the Dalai Lama was in Delhi for a World Buddhist Congress but would also be doing one speaking engagement. (China told India not to allow the Dalai Lama to do this and they cut off border talks because India did). This was going to be at the Habitat Centre and one had to get tickets through members. I called upon my dear friend Shekhar as he seems to know everyone. Although Shekhar isn’t a member he was able to secure two tickets for us. By the time though that we got to the door nobody else was allowed inside. Two huge video screens had been set up in the courtyard and so we sat with a number of other people.
Since I wanted to see the Dalai Lama live I went to the driveway line where he would be entering Habitat Centre. Sure enough he rolled down his window as he entered the driveway and I was able to make a short video. As I sat watching the video screen I knew that I must make an attempt to get inside. I noticed, after the talk was over and the q and a was starting that some people were being let inside the auditorium. I told Shekhar that I was going to try and sure enough I did get in and sat in the back with the journalists, snapping lots of lots of photos. I came so close to shaking his hand as well as I went to the stage when the Q and A was over, but did shake the hand of the monk accompanying the Dalai Lama. I then waited in the line to take a video of him leaving.
The day however, was not through as now I was going to the metro to meet up with Robyn and Michael in order to attend the National Disability Awards Ceremony, hosted by the Indian President. It was great to again introduce Robyn and Michael to what I was doing in India. Merry Bawa from Action for Autism was getting one award and it was wonderful to see her on stage for the great work that she is doing. My friends Shekhar and Anil, board members of the National Trust were there. Anil’s company, IBM, was also getting an award. R&M and I sat with Anil’s wife, Rashmi and their daughter Davanshe, who is a role model for Persons with Disability. My friends from NT were also in attendance. They all make me feel so much a part of the disability movement and I feel no different from anyone else, except that I still can’t speak Hindi.
Unfortunately the President didn’t make it, but the Minister of Social Justice and Empowerment, Mr. Wasnik, who seems to be a great individual, conducted the awards ceremony. The same hearing impaired children who were at the Badhte Kadam Flag off and in to perform the national anthem in sign were also at the awards ceremony. They are just phenomenal.
As R&M and I went to get some food it was already gone. By that time it was too late and we decided to go home even though Poonam had offered to bring us to the Minister’s home for dinner. An incredible day to say the least. I was however so exhausted and didn’t wake up on Sunday morning until 11 AM!
On Sunday I introduced Robyn to one of my local markets and we had a blast. Robyn is slow and loves to really experience things and that is what we did. We stopped at a vendor selling all kinds of green vegetables or sagh and we had them grind them all up into a lovely mixture. Robyn made this for at least four dinners with a variety of spices. I’m certainly going to miss her cooking.
Tuesday was a day off and Robyn and I went to meet up with Shekhar, who is a member, at the Indian International Centre for breakfast. It was wonderful, especially the croissants and after this we all walked in Lodhi Gardens, herb garden, butterfly garden. Shekhar said that his friend a Member of Parliament, Mr. Dixits and his daughter were in the park exercising, and sure enough we were able to meet up with them. We ended our time with Shekhar having a scrumptious lunch. As always Shekhar was too gracious!
Robyn and I went off to Connaught Place where she exchanged some money, I took her to Janpath to see the great crafts and then went shopping at Fab India where Robyn bought some pants and I bought a beautiful blue with gold stitched highlights kurtha. This was the end of my gift certificates from Voice and Vision for a workshop that I facilitated with Len regarding their strategic plan. I feel good about how I used the certificates as I shared them with Len, Robyn and Michael.
Robyn’s cooking was very welcomed, as at times, I am just too tired to make anything other than my fruit mixture for dinner. Robyn is a good cook and made a number of Indian dishes, while Michael made the papads and cleaned up. My kitchen has never been cleaner, oh maybe once when Mark used to live with me.
On Friday, December 9, M&R were leaving for the Noida ashram, although I wanted to find a way for them to come to National Trust to play a few songs. Sure enough Poonam and her driver Kumar came through to pick M&R up at my home with their four suitcases, the harmonium and tablas they had purchased in Old Delhi and their three guitars, although one is a mini. They made it to the office in time for a BK celebratory lunch, played three songs which all of the staff was able to witness and then listened as some of the staff sang some songs. This is where I said goodbye to R&M until who knows where and when. But I’ll look forward to sharing stories the next time that we are able to meet up.
Whirlwind to say the least and now my assignment with National Trust is down to 2.5 months remaining. I sit on the train to Bhubaneswar as I type this, stopped yet again, hoping to arrive before my workshop starts, but as I know won’t. I continue to say that my experience has been incredible, that just being in India makes the possibilities and opportunities endless as long as one is willing to jump through doors and windows that are constantly presenting themselves. Maybe that is why I just can’t get enough. One’s life in their native countries becomes the same, while life abroad is always new. This is truly who I am, wanting and somewhat needing to experience the newness on a regular basis. I’m not in any sense bored wherever I am, but being abroad just makes life that much more special!
Back to Delhi on Tuesday for me, with Robyn and Michael coming in on Wednesday and the Badhte Kadam flag in on Friday. R&M had been in India since November 4 and on November 5 left for Ranchi, Lucknow and the mountains. They are in India to do some filming for YSS and to write some more music and get ready for their European tour. They are very busy, Michael doing a lot of editing for a variety of projects, with the main one being for my beloved friends and cousins Mark and Andrew.
I was happy that R&M were coming to Delhi to spend a bit of time before going off to do the rest of their India trip. Given our places in the world we haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together as adults and of course, the most likely place for us to be together would be India, which is a second home to R&M. I had the added surprise of Robyn cooking every night and both of them doing a really nice, thorough cleaning of my flat. It was also an opportunity for my Indian family, especially Anjilee and Bulbul, to continue to interact with Americans. ( I had gotten Aamir Khan to give an autograph to, as he wrote, Bobo. My American Hindi!)
Friday December 2 was the big day for the Badhte Kadam flag in at Delhi University. Thanks to AADI providing coordination, this year we did things a bit differently. It was smart on NT’s part to work with AADI rather than doing the same old thing, which I felt hadn’t been too successful last year. AADI is a very professionally run NGO and they implemented a huge list of very creative items during BK. We also counted on them to organize both the flag out and flag in.
The flag in was at Delhi University North and was a beautiful area with a large lawn, enabling students walking by to see what we were doing. D. Napoleon our Minister of State was supposed to come as well as Sheila Dixits the Chief Minister of Delhi. Unfortunately Napoleon was called away to parliament while Dixits did spend 15 or so minutes with us. The children highlighted in the flag in did lots of dancing and through their costumes showcased the diversity that makes India, incredible. The hearing impaired children again performed the sign national anthem and as they started I had tears in my eyes for my adopted homeland. There was also Baul, or folk singing, from West Bengal which was just beautiful. The Baul singers had also performed in Connaught Place during the week and I was able to follow them around. Doordarshan and CNN-IBN covered the event.
Previously, during the week, my pal Aditya had called and said that CNN-IBN wanted to do a follow-up, that Saturday, December 3-World Disability Day, to the wheelchair basketball. This time they were going to be doing a lot of filming. With the cooperation of Uma and Seema Thuli of Amar Jyoti, and the wheelchair basketball and able bodied children, we put together an event from 9:30-1 PM. It was fantastic and turned out to be part of the CNN-IBN citizen’s journalist show. A full 20 minutes with all Amar Jyoti children featured throughout. (I was able to be a citizen’s journalist and also introduced another story in my introduction!)
Earlier in the week I had also noticed that the Dalai Lama was in Delhi for a World Buddhist Congress but would also be doing one speaking engagement. (China told India not to allow the Dalai Lama to do this and they cut off border talks because India did). This was going to be at the Habitat Centre and one had to get tickets through members. I called upon my dear friend Shekhar as he seems to know everyone. Although Shekhar isn’t a member he was able to secure two tickets for us. By the time though that we got to the door nobody else was allowed inside. Two huge video screens had been set up in the courtyard and so we sat with a number of other people.
Since I wanted to see the Dalai Lama live I went to the driveway line where he would be entering Habitat Centre. Sure enough he rolled down his window as he entered the driveway and I was able to make a short video. As I sat watching the video screen I knew that I must make an attempt to get inside. I noticed, after the talk was over and the q and a was starting that some people were being let inside the auditorium. I told Shekhar that I was going to try and sure enough I did get in and sat in the back with the journalists, snapping lots of lots of photos. I came so close to shaking his hand as well as I went to the stage when the Q and A was over, but did shake the hand of the monk accompanying the Dalai Lama. I then waited in the line to take a video of him leaving.
The day however, was not through as now I was going to the metro to meet up with Robyn and Michael in order to attend the National Disability Awards Ceremony, hosted by the Indian President. It was great to again introduce Robyn and Michael to what I was doing in India. Merry Bawa from Action for Autism was getting one award and it was wonderful to see her on stage for the great work that she is doing. My friends Shekhar and Anil, board members of the National Trust were there. Anil’s company, IBM, was also getting an award. R&M and I sat with Anil’s wife, Rashmi and their daughter Davanshe, who is a role model for Persons with Disability. My friends from NT were also in attendance. They all make me feel so much a part of the disability movement and I feel no different from anyone else, except that I still can’t speak Hindi.
Unfortunately the President didn’t make it, but the Minister of Social Justice and Empowerment, Mr. Wasnik, who seems to be a great individual, conducted the awards ceremony. The same hearing impaired children who were at the Badhte Kadam Flag off and in to perform the national anthem in sign were also at the awards ceremony. They are just phenomenal.
As R&M and I went to get some food it was already gone. By that time it was too late and we decided to go home even though Poonam had offered to bring us to the Minister’s home for dinner. An incredible day to say the least. I was however so exhausted and didn’t wake up on Sunday morning until 11 AM!
On Sunday I introduced Robyn to one of my local markets and we had a blast. Robyn is slow and loves to really experience things and that is what we did. We stopped at a vendor selling all kinds of green vegetables or sagh and we had them grind them all up into a lovely mixture. Robyn made this for at least four dinners with a variety of spices. I’m certainly going to miss her cooking.
Tuesday was a day off and Robyn and I went to meet up with Shekhar, who is a member, at the Indian International Centre for breakfast. It was wonderful, especially the croissants and after this we all walked in Lodhi Gardens, herb garden, butterfly garden. Shekhar said that his friend a Member of Parliament, Mr. Dixits and his daughter were in the park exercising, and sure enough we were able to meet up with them. We ended our time with Shekhar having a scrumptious lunch. As always Shekhar was too gracious!
Robyn and I went off to Connaught Place where she exchanged some money, I took her to Janpath to see the great crafts and then went shopping at Fab India where Robyn bought some pants and I bought a beautiful blue with gold stitched highlights kurtha. This was the end of my gift certificates from Voice and Vision for a workshop that I facilitated with Len regarding their strategic plan. I feel good about how I used the certificates as I shared them with Len, Robyn and Michael.
Robyn’s cooking was very welcomed, as at times, I am just too tired to make anything other than my fruit mixture for dinner. Robyn is a good cook and made a number of Indian dishes, while Michael made the papads and cleaned up. My kitchen has never been cleaner, oh maybe once when Mark used to live with me.
On Friday, December 9, M&R were leaving for the Noida ashram, although I wanted to find a way for them to come to National Trust to play a few songs. Sure enough Poonam and her driver Kumar came through to pick M&R up at my home with their four suitcases, the harmonium and tablas they had purchased in Old Delhi and their three guitars, although one is a mini. They made it to the office in time for a BK celebratory lunch, played three songs which all of the staff was able to witness and then listened as some of the staff sang some songs. This is where I said goodbye to R&M until who knows where and when. But I’ll look forward to sharing stories the next time that we are able to meet up.
Whirlwind to say the least and now my assignment with National Trust is down to 2.5 months remaining. I sit on the train to Bhubaneswar as I type this, stopped yet again, hoping to arrive before my workshop starts, but as I know won’t. I continue to say that my experience has been incredible, that just being in India makes the possibilities and opportunities endless as long as one is willing to jump through doors and windows that are constantly presenting themselves. Maybe that is why I just can’t get enough. One’s life in their native countries becomes the same, while life abroad is always new. This is truly who I am, wanting and somewhat needing to experience the newness on a regular basis. I’m not in any sense bored wherever I am, but being abroad just makes life that much more special!
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